Monday, March 23, 2015

A shitty Situation

It's spring, you know what that means right? Soon the people will want to golf....sigh! :( 

here is a bunch of plants that have all become very close friends

I have been eating mangoes for a month, started with one ripe one everyday, then 2 ripes ones, then 3, now I have about 8 ripe ones a day, I am the mango lady, no one leaves my house with a few mangoes. 

I nominate the bougainvilleas to be the most beautiful plant in the wows me all the time 

there are 2 more bunches of bananas in my back yard. 
Freezing mangoes for my room mate who is away on a Tuna boat....who by the way I really really miss when he is gone. He has turned out to be an amazing room mate...well not "turned out" he always was amazing I"m sure, it just took a while to get over my Canadian tendencies. 

mucho mangoes

mango shakes every day....sometmes twice a day

Let me tell you about the mango tree. First, it's the biggest mango tree on the Island (maybe) It's 30 plus years old (maybe). It's a little crazy (not maybe).

It had mango on it before it was mango time. If you take the horse and wagon tour of the Island the wagon master will drive you past my house and show you this tree and he will tell you it is crazy. Tourist get driven past my house all the time just to look at the mango tree. I should really put a tip jar out there (to help pay for my ceiling)

Now you need to understand how much everyone loves mangoes. A lot. Here is what happens all day.
The birds get up there and peck at the mangoes until they fall down. (it hurts to get pinged in the head with a mango). They eat mangoes all day, now, what happens when you eat mangoes all day? You shit all day! All day!
At night the rats come (yeah I didn't know I had rats either), they eat mangoes all night and ....... Shit al night.
Then the raccoons come and climb the tree and eat mangoes all night and .......shit all night.
The Iguanas really really like mangoes too, and they REALLY shit. And they eat day and night. (double shit)
So now there are mango pits and mango peel and half eaten mangoes lying everywhere and then the whole back yard is full of fruit flies.....lots of them, and i am sure they shit too.
So....3 times a day at least I am washing down my brick back yard and burning incense to cover the smell of shit.
I have been putting poison out for the rats, which they eat and I have a found a dead rat or 2, however it just seems like I am feeding all the Island rats.

A few days ago I got a friend to get up on the roof of my house to get some high up there mangoes. I tell him to make sure he gets them all. He says he only wants to pick the ripe ones, I say no, get them all, the greens ones ripen in the house, He argues with me, and says that if you pick unripe fruit it hurts the tree and will be bad for your spirit....huh? I say I am not looking for a spiritual experience right now, I just want the shit to go away.

Now, please understand that I am not "complaining" here about having mangos, that would sound ungrateful and petty and THAT might just be bad for my spirit, I am only reporting on what it is like to have a crazy mango tree in the yard.

when the ceiling falls

Even in Paradise bad things happens....sometimes. Imagine my surprise. I come from being on the mainland all day. I need to go to the beach, most days I want to go to the beach, but when I come home from the mainland I NEED to go to the beach, It seems I have to wash the city vibe off of me. So I am in a hurry to get out of the house, but I need to use the bathroom first....quickly I say to me. This is what the bathroom looked like. WHAT!

A piece of concrete from the ceiling fell down and smashed my sink right off the wall.

See all the little cracks in the concrete, that means its not done falling, my bedroom, bathroom and kitchen ceiling is very cracked.

So operation "fix ceiling" will happen while  I am in Canada. Which means I have to pack my whole house into plastic bags because the dust will be Guynormous (yes thats a word) it means really really much.
Which means operation "pack house into plastic bags" is happening right now.....well not right this moment, right now i am sitting here in my living room (the only safe place in the house) drinking coffee and listening to the roosters waking up the Island.